A Faithful Watch

Scripture

Matthew 26:36-48

 Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” ³⁷ He took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee and began to be grieved and agitated. ³⁸ Then he said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and stay awake with me.” ³⁹ And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me, yet not what I want but what you want.” ⁴⁰ Then he came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter, “So, could you not stay awake with me one hour? ⁴¹ Stay awake and pray that you may not come into the time of trial; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” ⁴² Again he went away for the second time and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” ⁴³ Again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. ⁴⁴ So leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words. ⁴⁵ Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? Now the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. ⁴⁶ Get up, let us be going. Look, my betrayer is at hand.”  (NRSVUE)

 

Lenten Practice

 One of my favorite Holy Week traditions comes from the time I lived in Lexington, Kentucky.  After getting home from my church's Maundy Thursday service, I would make a strong cup of coffee, leave it in the microwave, and then lie down on the couch to nap for a few hours.  When my alarm went off around 2 AM, I reheated the coffee and drank it as I drove down the mostly empty streets back to church, where one of the pastors was waiting to escort me into the building.  At precisely 2:30 AM, I would knock softly on the door of the small prayer room located just off the sanctuary.  As I entered and took my seat, whoever was in the room's only other chair would rise, return, whatever items they were using to a small table, and leave. It was my turn to hold vigil for a while.

Derived from a Latin word for soldier's watch through the night, a vigil in its most literal sense is the act of keeping awake and attentive during a time when we would normally be asleep.  People keep vigil, for instance over the bed of a sick relative or a woman in labor.  Farmers keep vigil over their livestock if they suspect a predator might be threatening them.  There is a certain expectancy with vigils: we expect that something is about to happen or change... and whether that change is welcome or not, we want to be ready to respond according the moment it arrives.

From a Christian standpoint, a vigil is a disciplined act of staying physically and spiritually awake as a form of devotion to Christ.  It is to keep prayerful watch for signs of his Christ's presence among us...to keep awake for the moment of his return... and to make ready to respond the changes his Spirit is bring about here and now. 

Keeping vigil has a palpable effect on people.  When we are tempted to fall into a kind of spiritual slumber, vigils encourage us to keep alert for signs of God's presence, power, and will at work within, through, and around us.  When our various failings and betrayals cause us to drift apart from God and one another, vigils can help draw us back together--encouraging us to abide in Christ as he abides in us and the Father in him.  As we do so, we learn to consider things from the perspective of one who loves us enough to die for us--and that can bring about all sorts of profound revelations that change our lives.

Ppeople of faith keep vigil for different purposes and in a variety of ways.  Some vigils are designed to help us look for signs of Christ's incarnation.   Others help us sit with Christ as we await an event.  Still others remind us that while things are not as they should be, we have faith in a better day that is to come.  Some people hold vigil by by reading scripture and singing hymns.  Others by reading from prayer-books or asking a question and waiting silently for an answer.  Some people light candles and play music while others prefer to sit in the shadows and keep silent.  Some hold vigil together; others do it alone.  The exact method of vigil is not important; what is important is setting aside time to draw close to Christ and so that we may join him in watch for the changes that he is bringing about in the world.

The concept of my church's annual Passion vigil was relatively simple.  Beginning immediately after the Maundy Thursday service concluded and continuing until the traditional time of Jesus's death at 3:00 PM on Good Friday, church members signed up to take turns keeping watch with Jesus--just as he asked of Peter, James, and John on the night of his arrest.  Whether they agreed to sit vigil for 30 minutes or 2 hours, each volunteer was to to remain focused on and prayerful over Jesus until the next person arrived.  The pastors and staff signed up for any unfilled time slots, so that--in a spiritual sense at least--Jesus would never have to suffer alone.  Someone would always be with him until the moment the sacrifice Jesus made for us was complete and his body was sealed in the tomb.  And when that moment arrived, the watch would be complete, and everyone would disperse until sunrise on Easter.

 I wasn't sure what to do with myself the first time I signed up to take part in my church's Passion vigil.  After all, how does one even begin to keep watch with Jesus nearly 2,000 after the event that changed everything?  My pastors, though, had expected this--stocking the room with prayer aids and suggestions of practices to try.  One of those practices was to imagine a portion of the Passion narrative through the perspective of Jesus or someone else who was there.  What would you have seen, smelled, heard, etc?  What thoughts of feelings would have run through your mind?  I decided to imagine myself in the Garden of Gethsemane...a scene that correlated well with the lonely darkness of the night that I had just driven through.

 The more I imagined watching Jesus praying in the garden as his three most trusted disciples snored beneath its olive trees, the more I identified with the loneliness, grief and torment he must have felt.  With his closest followers dead to the world, who was there to watch over the safety the one who had spent all of human history keeping vigil over us?  What dread rose up within him as thought about bitter cup from which he was about to cup he was about to drink?  When Jesus heard the rattle of distant armor and saw the flickers of approaching torchlight, how strongly was he tempted to slip past the sleeping disciples and vanish into the night.. neatly avoiding the cruel fate that was approaching?  How lonely did Jesus feel as he admitted that he didn't want to die like that yet still prayed for God's will to be done--all the while knowing that the very people he loved enough to give his life for would betray him over and over again in his final hours? 

The longer sat my vigil and imagined being with Jesus in the garden, the more heartbroken I felt.  I wished there was a way to go back in time and save Jesus from all that suffering...not to mention all that would happen next.  At the same time, I was aware enough of my own sinfulness and failings that I knew that even if I had been there, I would have done no better than all the people who had failed or betrayed Jesus during his Passion.    

And the next thing I knew, I found myself in prayer--a slow, steady stream of tears trickling down my face as I told Jesus how sorry I was for the ways I had betrayed, abandoned, or fallen asleep on, or otherwise failed my Savior over the years.  I told Jesus how awe-filled and  grateful I was that despite all my failings, he still loved me enough kneel in that garden and agree to die for me.   I begged the Holy Spirit to turn me into someone who kept true to Jesus not only for an hour or so at a time...but for all the remaining hours of my existence.  And then, when the words failed me and my tears ran dry, I simply I sat there in silence, determined to prove that no matter how heavy eyes became or how still the night may seem, I could keep spiritually awake and help Jesus wait for what was coming.

When my turn was over and the associate pastor walked me to my car, I left with a more profound sense of both the depths of Christ's love and the sacrifice he had made on our behalf than I ever had ever felt before.  That deeper sense of Christ's love and sacrifice made Easter morning all the more joyful.  And the whole experience was so profound that I made a point of signing up to come in at 2:30 AM the next two years...and I expanded my time from 30 minutes to a full hour

As we move into the period when we remember Christ's final hours, I invite you to take some to go into a time vigil with and for the one who was willing to die in order open our door to eternal life.  The one who endured the worst that human spite and sinfulness could accomplish in order to offer us forgiveness.  The one whose death at the hands of those who feared and hated him taught us the power of God's love.  Christ's Passion changed the world as we knew it; and the least we can do to thank him is keep watch with him for a while as we wait for the changes he wrought among us to be fully revealed.

A Process for Keeping Vigil

1. Designate a specific time, place, and duration. When and where are you likely to feel the Spirit's presence and be reasonably free of distractions?    What duration of time would be challenging but still reasonable for you to devote to this practice?  Is there anyone you need to let know that you will be unavailable for a while?
   
2. Set the scene.  What kind of sounds, lighting, seating, etc. would help you enter into a spiritually open and reflective state?  What scriptures, prayers, hymns, would help you turn your heart to Christ and abide with him?  Do objects like prayer beads, art supplies, soft music or portable water features help you enter into a spiritual state?  Stock your space with what you need. 
   
3. Begin your vigil.  When you are ready, start a timer and begin by breathing softly and slowly for a few moments.  Then, praying for the Holy Spirit to clear your mind from all distractions and draw you closer to Christ, so that you may abide in him. 
4. Keep watch. Proceed with whatever you feel the Spirit calling you to do (prayers, scripture reading, coloring, silence, etc).  Try to keep your mind open and focused on Jesus.  When worldly distractions arise, simply notice them and let them go.
5. Cease your vigil.  When the timer goes off, end with a prayer thank God for drawing you into  Christ's presence.  Reflect on what you have learned of what deeper understandings Christ has brought to you.  Ask for this time together to have a lasting effect on your life.  Breathe.