Uncomfortable Conversations

 

Scripture

 2 Corinthians 2:14-17

¹⁴ But thanks be to God – the God who always leads us in his triumphal procession in the Messiah, and through us reveals everywhere the sweet smell of knowing him. ¹⁵ We are the Messiah’s fragrance before God, you see, to those who are being saved and to those who are being lost. ¹⁶ To the latter, it’s a smell which comes from death and leads to death; but to the former it’s the smell of life which leads to life.

Who can rise to this challenge? ¹⁷ We aren’t mere pedlars of God’s word, as so many people are. We speak with sincerity; we speak from God; we speak in God’s presence; we speak in the Messiah.  (NTE)

 

Devotion

During a "getting to know you" chat at a recent bachelorette weekend, I was asked how I knew the bride. I braced myself as I answered, "Well, I met her in seminary.  I'm the pastor who is going to officiate the wedding."  

 I love what I do for a living.  The hitch is new acquaintances tend to get visibly uncomfortable and put their guards up when they find out that I am a Christian minister. Nones (people who have grown up without a religious affiliation) and Dones (those who have left organized religion) tend to expect Christians to be self-righteous, angry, judgemental, easily offended, and even hateful.... and they have plenty of evidence to support this characterization.  They see people with crosses around their necks waving picket signs as they shout that entire groups of people are going to hell.  They turn on the news or radio to find self-proclaimed Christians accusing others of various sins, inadequacies, and evil conspiracies in order to justify their own personal, social, or political ends..  Social medias is full of people proclaiming God's judgement on everything and everyone with whom they disagree.

These folks (and yes, a good number of them are pastors) can be described as peddling of God's word.  They are using scripture and Christian faith in order to sell us something--and what they are selling usually says more about their desires than about Christ's will. No matter what the peddler's particular leaning is or what they are selling, there are plenty of Christians who disagree with them.  Still, there is something about their self-righteous indignation that seems to stifle Christian dissent. We shake our heads and mutter that it just isn't worth the fight.  Surely, we think, people know that not all Christians think or act that way.  But when those voices are the only ones that people hear, is it any wonder that the general public has become increasingly leery of Christianity? 

So what can we do to address the peddlers and dispel people's leeriness?  Well, we can start by changing the Christian messaging out there.  Rather than letting the peddlers go unchallenged as they sell their particular brands (all of which reek faintly of death), we can spread the sweet fragrance of Christ's love through words of welcome, acceptance, and devotion to God's will.  We don't need to pick fights with people, but we should be ready engage with people on issues that makes us uncomfortable.  We should let people know that while some voices may be louder than others, there is more than one Christian perspective on almost any topic  Then, we should invite people to share their thoughts and listen to them carefully before we speak sincerely about how Jesus's life and teachings have influenced our perspectives.

Such conversations require us to confess that we are not always right about everything and commit to practicing mutual forbearance when we disagree.  They require us to set aside our egos and allow ourselves to be vulnerable as we delve into the places where we agree, disagree, or have questions for one another.  And it requires a lot of prayerful, compassionate listening when people share how they have been wounded or off-put by those who peddle in region.  It may even require an apology on other Christians' behalf.

This is challenging work.  But the more we push pass our discomfort and trust in our Messiah's presence, the better able we will be to rise to that challenge.  One conversation is not usually enough to make much headway with a person who distrusts Christianity, but it can open the door to more conversations.  The more honest conversations folks have with compassionate and sincere people of faith, the less leery of Christians they are likely to become. As they come to trust in our sincerity, the sweet fragrance of Christ that clings to our words may convince them to get to know Jesus for themselves. 

I far from perfect when it comes to putting myself our there and having honest, vulnerable conversations with those who mistrust Christians; but I am getting better at it.  On Day 2 of the bachelorette weekend, we were discussing some political issues over a glass of wine when one of the people who had visibly shifted away from me when I said I was a pastor leaned forward and said, "You know, not many Christians think like that.  It's refreshing."  I explained that a good number of Christians actually do share my perspective...but that they aren't  always very loud about it.  She looked a little skeptical, but I think she took what I said to heart.  Little by little, conversation by conversation, I built trust with this person.  And I pray that I can keep building upon that trust the next time I see her.

 When we find ourselves in the presence of someone who has been off-put or wounded by those who peddle God's word for their own purposes, let us trust in Christ's influence enough to be open, honest, humble, and vulnerable with them.  Let us cultivate a spirit of openness and discernment--not so that we might sell someone on Jesus right then and there, but in hopes that by building relationships with one another, all of us will become more receptive to Jesus's fragrant influence.  For when we speak to others with humility, sincerity, and love, we are in the presence of God.  And when we speak in God's presence, we speak in the Messiah.

Prayer

 Jesus, there are so many who use and abuse your Word for their own ends.  Give me the faith, humility, courage and endurance to change people's assumptions about what Christian faith is all about.  Open my heart, so that I may have the empathy to listen without defensiveness to those who have been hurt, offended, abandoned, or confused by members of your Church.  Open my mind so that discern how you would have me respond to them.  Open my lips so that I may share that message with clarity, humility, and compassion.  Use me so that those who are rightly leery of those who peddle in your Word can come to trust the sweetness that is found in  knowing You.  Amen.