Praying Through the Pain

Scripture

 Deuteronomy 9:13-21

¹³Furthermore the LORD said to me, “I have seen that this people is indeed a stubborn people. ¹⁴Let me alone that I may destroy them and blot out their name from under heaven; and I will make of you a nation mightier and more numerous than they.”

¹⁵So I turned and went down from the mountain, while the mountain was ablaze; the two tablets of the covenant were in my two hands. ¹⁶Then I saw that you had indeed sinned against the LORD your God, by casting for yourselves an image of a calf; you had been quick to turn from the way that the LORD had commanded you. ¹⁷So I took hold of the two tablets and flung them from my two hands, smashing them before your eyes. ¹⁸Then I lay prostrate before the LORD as before, forty days and forty nights; I neither ate bread nor drank water, because of all the sin you had committed, provoking the LORD by doing what was evil in his sight. ¹⁹For I was afraid that the anger that the LORD bore against you was so fierce that he would destroy you. But the LORD listened to me that time also. ²⁰The LORD was so angry with Aaron that he was ready to destroy him, but I interceded also on behalf of Aaron at that same time. ²¹Then I took the sinful thing you had made, the calf, and burned it with fire and crushed it, grinding it thoroughly, until it was reduced to dust; and I threw the dust of it into the stream that runs down the mountain.  (NRSV)

Devotion

 Today's scripture reading comes from Moses's last great sermon.  The people are on the verge of entering the Holy Land, and Moses is giving them advice on how to live there.  As part of this sermon, Moses looks back over the past 40 years and gives his perspective on some of the greatest mistakes the traveling Israelites' have made.

The mistake Moses is referring to here is the time the people had Aaron craft an idol for them while Moses was up on Mount Sinai receiving the Ten Commandments.  By reveling before the golden calf, the people had basically rejected both God and Moses to worship other gods.  They had broken God's covenant with them before Moses could even show them the tablets.  This action cut both God and Moses to the quick, and God was ready to destroy them.  Moses, however, flung himself down before God and did everything he could to convince God to spare the people's lives.  Eventually, God listened to Moses and showed the people mercy.

Moses uses this memory and ones like it in order to warn the Israelites about the deadly consequences of rebelling against God...consequences they have only narrowly avoided in the past. There is another lesson we can take from this story as well.  Moses account of both his own hurt and the actions he took on the people's behalf can inspire us to intercede on behalf of the people who sin against us.

We all have times when someone betrays us.  Perhaps we saw it coming.  Perhaps we didn't.  In the moments when our hurt and anger are particularly deep, it is tempting to call down God's wrath upon them.  We want them to be punished for what they have done to us--to suffer at least a portion of the pain we feel.  After all, they deserve it.

Moses understood, though, that if God always gave people what they deserved, it wouldn't take long until there was no one left on the face of the Earth. If God's children are to thrive and live into relationships with God and one another, then they need to be forgiven and then learn to do better.  This is why a hurting and angry Moses intercedes on the people's behalf and asks God to show them mercy.  Moses prays for the people to receive not what they deserve...but what they need.

Asking God to show mercy to the people who wound us does not mean that we need to keep giving folks the chance to use, abuse, or manipulate us.  There are times when we need to walk away from toxic relationships.  But even if the best course of action is to remove someone from our lives, we still need to let go of our anger and thirst for vengeance.  I've learned the hard way that such emotions usually hurt the person holding them much more hurt the person they are leveled at.  Even when our wishes for that person's punishment do come true, they perpetuate the pain and brokenness of the world.  

So how do we be like Moses and intercede on behalf of those who have harmed us?  I usually start by acknowledging that I have been wronged and admitting that I am hurting...just as Moses acknowledged the people's awful behavior when he smashed the tablets holding the Ten Commandments.  After we admit that we are hurt, we can take time to step back from the situation and reflect on it...perhaps not for 40 days, but for a time that is appropriate to us.  Then, we can pray for God to help those person see the error of their ways and help them repent so that they may learn to live good, productive, and fruitful lives.

Such prayers can be difficult to make, but they are ultimately freeing.  They help us let go of our own pain and envision a time when all people will be to God and one another.  That vision helps us draw closer to Christ, who forgives us for the ways we hurt him and constantly intercedes with God on our behalf.  And just as we pray for God to show our enemies mercy, we can hope that the people who have hurt will do the same for us. 

Today, I want to challenge you to take a moment to search your heart for some unhealed hurt and then pray for the person who caused that pain.  Pray for God's mercy and forgiveness to come into their lives so that they may repent of their sins and become loving...more faithful...more fruitful followers of God's ways. If they are already gone, pray that their souls find forgiveness and peace in the hereafter.  

I hope this prayer lightens the burdens that lie heavy on your heart so that you may better experience the wonders of God's mercy.  And I, for one, look forward to the day when every sin has been forgiven, every hurt has been healed, and all Creation remains at peace with God and one another forevermore.

 

Prayer

Merciful Creator, you offer me forgiveness even when I deserve punishment.  Today, I lift up ____________, who has hurt me by _______________. 

 Forgive them, Lord.  Help them understand that what they did was wrong and repent from it by ____________.  May they become people who are more faithful, more loving, more just, and more merciful. 

Help me let go of some of the pain they inflicted on me so that I can better experience your divine healing.  I know that comfort found in Christ's reconciling love is stronger than the pain left by that person's sins against me.  Amen.