Scripture
Psalm 42
1 As a deer longs for flowing streams,
so my soul longs for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
When shall I come and behold
the face of God?
3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while people say to me continually,
“Where is your God?”
4 These things I remember,
as I pour out my soul:
how I went with the throng,
and led them in procession to the house of God,
with glad shouts and songs of thanksgiving,
a multitude keeping festival.
5 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my help 6and my God.
My soul is cast down within me;
therefore I remember you
from the land of Jordan and of Hermon,
from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep
at the thunder of your cataracts;
all your waves and your billows
have gone over me.
8 By day the LORD commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.
9 I say to God, my rock,
“Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I walk about mournfully
because the enemy oppresses me?”
10 As with a deadly wound in my body,
my adversaries taunt me,
while they say to me continually,
“Where is your God?”
11 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my help and my God. (NRSV)
Devotion
Recently, I've been struck by just how many of my conversations with family, friends, and colleagues end up turning towards the subject of longing. My sister longs to take her almost 1-year-old child out to meet people in their wider community. My friends and I long for the day when it is safe enough for all of us to gather for a cup of coffee--or even a group vacation. My colleagues long for the day when our workloads go back to a "normal" level and we do not feel constantly worried about our parishioners' safety. All around the world, people long for safety and security....for a feeling of connection...for a relief to the strain we have all been under. We long for so very many things.
I believe that at the heart of all this longing is a deep longing for God. Like the narrator in Psalm 142, we feel downtrodden and frustrated by the trials we face. The psalmist describes their soul's longing as being like a panting deer that yearns for a stream of flowing water. Just as the deer thirsts for a drink, our souls thirst for relief. We want to see God face-to--face...to know that we are not alone and that God has come to rescue us from our predicament. When God seems to delay in coming to us or does not appear in the way we expected, we may find ourselves wondering if we've been forgotten. Like the psalmist, we think back to better times and then look around us and feel a crushing wave of despair. Where is our God?
The Good News is that God's steadfast love is always with us. In the midst of all their longing complaints, the psalmist asks why their soul is so troubled. They remind themself that God's steadfast love remains with them by day, and God's song resides within them at night (verse 8). This reminder of God's steadfast love gives the psalmist the hope to keep carrying on during their time of struggle.
The evidence of God's steadfast love isn't always obvious at first. During extended periods of grief and anxiety, it is natural to have times when we cry out in sorrow and ask why God has forgotten us. Just because we begin such times from a place of despair doesn't mean we have to end in the same place. After we pour out sorrow, we can remind our longing hearts that God is still here. Then, we can begin looking for sublte signs that God's love abides with us during the day and sings to our souls at night.
Several years ago, I was going through a particularly anxious and troubled time in which I felt very alone. There were signs of God's love and protection all around me, but the awfulness of my situation made it hard to notice them. A good friend challenged me to make a point of finding one thing I was thankful for every day...just one thing that seemed like a blessing. Then, when I felt abandoned, I could remind myself of that blessing. I started small with some early-spring flowers that I walked by on my way to work. As the days went on, my list grew to include people who checked in on me, specific pieces of scripture or sermons that brought me comfort, etc. It took time and effort, but I began to hear God's song echoing in the night of my heart. And while my soul still yearned for God to simply step in and make everything better, I began to hope in a better day to come.
If you find yourself longing for God yet feeling abandoned, I encourage you to do what my friend challenged me to do. Make a point of noticing one single blessing in your. It could be some major form of help or just something that brings a smile to your face. When you have found it, thank God for it. Then, reminds yourself of that blessing the next time you find yourself asking "where is my God." Over time, you will come to hear God's song in the night. That song should give you the hope and perseverance to keep going until a better day dawns.
Today's musical selection is the first movement of Felix Mendelssohn's setting of Psalm 42. Last March, students at Thelma Yellin High School in Israel used their smart phones to record their individual parts from their homes. Put together, their performance shows the students' deep longing for God while still expressing the beauty of God's song alive in the world. May this performance help you remember that even in times of sorrow, our hope is in the Lord.
Prayer
God, our souls long for so many things...but most of all, they long for you. Hear our cries and come to us now, so that we may know that we are not alone. May your blessings in our lives and your song in our hearts help ease the yearning of our hearts. Amen.
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